Further Adventures in Margoland

Eat, Drink and Remarry: Confessions of a Serial Wife - Margo Howard

"There was something else about my column that was unusual:  my stuff went straight to the Tribune lawyers to be vetted. Dr. David Reuben, for example, author of Everything  You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask), threatened to sue me if I ever wrote about him again. All I had said was that his Q & A format read like a cross between Helen Gurley Brown and Popular Mechanics, that I found his to be a cutesy-Kinsey approach, and that his competitiveness with other authors regarding sales struck me as unseemly"-  Margo Howard, Eat, Drink and Remarry

 

She can dish it out but evidently can't take it.

 

Finally she decided to divorce her cold, distant, alcoholic, cheating husband. There was an interlude with PIs and cameras and Howard tracking #1 down to the house of the other woman and how said PIs were impressed with her calm behavior after they left the scene of the dirty deed.

 

So now you might be thinking the divorce was on, right? We-ell, it yes and no, the lawyers had hammered out all the necessary agreements for children and finances and #1 begs for another chance "for the children". Does our plucky heroine say oh hale no? Not hardly. Howard figures WTH and moves to his little large Tudor in the country for the summer, after all it wouldn't mess with the financial agreement.  Nothing changed, except her address for a few weeks, and she returned to finalize the divorce.

 

At last. This woman is slooooww. Oh, she gave #1's $15,000 camera to one of her elevator men because fuck you #1 and she didn't need to sell it, money was no problem.

 

Okay, money seems to be a big problem because she keeps telling us, one way or another, how it isn't. She has this thing about money, she can't stop talking about it. And name dropping, yeesh. I think it is fascinating that she met so many well known or important people but the way she writes it is more like "I know all these people and you don't".

 

Howard waxes something or other as she tries to write off her first marriage as good experience for when she became an advice columnist. Somehow I just feel we haven't come to the end of her bad decisions.

 

So she finally, finally is shed of #1 and is finally happy and has a "generous monthly allowance" (see what I mean about the money talk?). What's next? A wedding of someone she grew up with and a meeting with his cousin, Gene Siskel. I regret that I'm not keeping count of the names but there has been Humphrey, Kennedy, and Stevenson. Dr. Bob Stolar, Henry "Scoop" Jackson, George Smathers, Wayne Morse, bought a house from Henry Marcus, Don Budge, Jonas Salk, Tish Baldrige was a neighbor, Arnie Morton, Hank Bradford, Gene Siskel. Notice anything? Yeah, at a quick glance so far only one woman on the "drop list".

 

So she connects with Gene, they talk, and he introduces her to his editor and Howard starts writing pieces for the Sunday features section of the Tribune and now we are back to my opening paragraph.

 

Three more husbands to go.