Bingo is Better with Friends

[reblogged from 38 Caliber Reviews]

 

I had a few more screenshots and a few more things to say.

 

A lot of bloggers/reviewers are talking about their reactions to Amy Spalding’s bingo card. It’s not a surprise that most of those reactions are negative, except to Spalding and her friends. What you all may or may not realize is that Spalding didn’t do this on her own, no, she asked for contributions.

 

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That’s right, she asked and oh, so many were happy to contribute.

 

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Melissa, if it’s that bad you really don’t want me to finish it, I’ll just have that much more to criticize- if I stop at page 50, that could mean the book miraculously improved after I stopped. If I read to the end, well, then the reader will definitely know if it didn’t. Think of that DNF as a reviewer’s gift to you.

 

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Isn’t this wonderful? So many authors so grateful for reviews, wait, no, so ungrateful for the reviews they got because they weren’t the ones they wanted. Deserved maybe, but not wanted.

 

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We could just not buy, read, or review your books. Would that make you happy? Didn’t think so.

 

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And her friends obliged.

 

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“I wanted this book to have a solid plot and intelligent characters, alas, the writer seems to be incapable of that.” I don’t know, I think that calls for one star.  And the swearing, drinking, and sex- over or under the age of 18? Some people have a problem if those characters are underage.

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Mm hmm, now just who is the idiot here? I’m going with the author calling reviewers idiots, yeah, cause doing so in public where readers can see it isn’t a jaw-droppingly bone-headed move. Not at all.

 

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Yes, we read your little project. We are not amused but some of your friends certainly are.

 

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So it wasn’t just Amy being struck by a bolt of creative lightning while eating her Quarter Pounder or Baconator. No, Amy collected her little McNuggets from her friends, none of them being smart enough to ask why she wanted them and then set to work. When people pointed out that reviewers weren’t amused but were offended or appalled by her inspirational (to certain authors) bingo card, Spalding showed all the sensitivity of a thick plank.

 

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And I’m not saying you’re bad either, Amy. This is bad, and this, and this. Now do you have any inkling why we aren’t amused? Do you understand how this affects your relationship with reviewers/bloggers? Do you understand that your little bingo card isn’t making things better? Doesn’t encourage reviewers to want to read your books or those of your enthusiastic and appreciative friends and contributors?

 

Yes, yes, I can hear you now, protesting that you were just having fun and nothing on your card is anything like what I linked to but, Amy, all that happened in those links is on your card, all that started with an author thinking about B4 or N2 or anything else on your card or in their head.

 

How well do you really know the people who contributed? Do you know if they were just lightly tossing you a pet peeve or if they have 345 guns in their basement next to the freezer holding their spouse, the troublesome neighbor, and the Sunday roast? Do you know? We don’t either.

 

And that’s why we’re backing slowly away and crossing you off the TBR lists. We. Don’t. Know. And we aren’t willing to take the chance that you or one of your friends will decide to call us or email us (at best) or lurk in the shrubbery or bash us on the head (at worst).

 

I hear you deleted your tweet but why? It’s still there, retweeted by laughing authors and appalled reviewers everywhere. It’s there, you’re there, I’m there, and so is everybody and some of them are writing a book. Then we read it and the first thing we (now) have to think about is- who is this author?

 

But that’s another blog.

 

 

 

For Paige, and Blythe, and Linda