You know, I don’t think I’ve read a worse piece of crap. This is 42 pages of possibly the worst formatting or maybe just the worst design an author has ever tried to foist on the reading public. I’m sure that Cartwright believes that the her ability to write and read her grocery list means that she is also capable of writing a book or, in this case, a pamphlet.
She would be wrong.
I think the author describes her writing process for this scamphlet best:
I’m not surprised by a confession of alcohol consumption, this is a wretched, dull, dreary, deadly, little collection of uninspired “tips” for enlivening the life of singles. Some of the “tips” are just dull, but others are venal or deadly if you were brain dead enough to follow them.
The venal, and notice the blank upper half page:
The deadly, if you are dumb enough:
Scorpions get their love and affection from other scorpions, not some drunk dumbass looking to fill a few lines in something she should be ashamed to have strangers read.
Before I continue let us reread that last sentence of Cartwright’s review of her scamphlet:
Ye-ah. Maybe she is still drunk.
But let’s continue, here are a few more gems:
Aside from all the weirdness of text fonts and random capitalization for no reason whatsoever, what the hell? Tip #1 makes no sense as it is written. Then we have:
A colleague of naked photos? This is a good reason not to write anything when you have been drinking.
Deliciously squared performers? I can’t even. Note the end of the sentence, “emotionally obligated to endure”, this is not the only time Cartwright seems to be saying that marriage is gonna be a draaaaaaag and to have fun, fun, fun before you are locked away and can no longer play in your sheets. Hmmm. I think that sounds much better when I write it.
Go Hair less. Oooooh, how edgy, how randomly capitalized and it is hairless, one word. #33, sure, now tell me where to find one, idiot.
Do you mean a children’s book? Childhood is one word unless you are referring to a very young criminal.
Get the name right.
Bathe, bathe. Ouch, sorry but no. All those hard and sharp edged little gems and I can’t quite figure out the how or the why and am just going to say this is yet another example of WWD (writing while drunk).
Ookay, just let me say that not every male is excited by the color red or crimson. Let me also say that if he is a bloodied male chances are he’s thinking more about bandages and the ER than your tacky underwear. I did not know you could speed up your temperature, raise it but not speed it up.
And then there’s that “second date invitation”, trying not to judge but invite an injured man over and toss edible panties on the coffee table in the hopes of getting a second date? Oh, honey, face it. He’s not that interested in you.
Men are so turned off by Random Capitalization.